Trust in God

What does it mean to trust in God?  What does it mean for a child to trust in a parent?  What is Faith?  For many they may have immediate, perhaps programmed responses they have grown up with since childhood.  For some, however; this has become deeply personal, there are no programmed responses, there is only a firm affirmation, a knowledge of what this means.  How do you get to this point? For a child to learn obedience to their parents, they need to know their parents love them, and truly want what is best for them, then it will be easier to trust them.  The same is true of us, with our Father in Heaven.  Growing up, I always had faith there was a God, it was easy for me to believe in things.  I held on to Santa until I was 12.  I admit belief in the unbelievable has come easy for me.  I can assure you though, that if that was all my faith was in the last several years, I would not still be standing with God.  It had to become something more.  It did. First I had to gain a testimony that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints was the restored gospel of Jesus Christ.  As a youth, I just figured you went to whatever church you felt good in and that was okay. I felt good in this church so I thought that that would please my bishop when I told him.  Instead, I saw real fear in his eyes as he told me that wasn't true.  It caused me to reflect more; and then in college I began to earnestly pray to know if all that I had been taught was true. Was the Book of Mormon another testament of Jesus Christ? Was Joseph Smith who he said he was? Was the priesthood restored? Did we really have a modern day prophet?  Answers didn't come right away, but they came, as I did not give up, as I continued to have faith that I would get answers.  I knew it all was true; there was no going back for me.  Then I had to learn that God truly loved me. Through all my weaknesses he loved me and I was good enough.  I learned this on my mission, when feelings of inadequacy were crippling me.  He whispered it to me when I was on my knees in despair.  I knew he loved me and from that moment on whenever trials came, which they have, no matter how hard they were I never doubted he loved me and would one day make it right.  Our family has suffered job loss due to false accusations, and because of that years of financial struggle that really still have not come to an end.  I personally have struggled with the ability to forgive because of this.  After a year and a half of struggling with anger, I was finally able to turn it over to my Savior and trust in his timing and that all would be made right.  Because of what happened, it has been difficult for my husband to gain the financial stability we so desire, and just when we thought we were headed forward in that, it all came back to get us again.  Once again we received calm assurance that all would be right; that this was our test, and we have been able to find joy in the journey, we have treasures beyond measure, we have been well taken care of.  I have seen the hand of God in our life, and I will not let anger, frustration or doubt take all of that away.  All around me; however, I see friends and family let go of all that matters, doubts consume them, their hearts fail, they fall away.  This brings me sorrow, not the kind that causes me to be in despair, but the kind that causes me to be sorry for them.  We will all have trials in this life, we can do it with God and have peace through those trials, or we can do it without him, alone, and be in despair.  It is our choice.  Many who have fallen away for now feel like it is the right choice, and are temporarily happy, I know this will not last, and this also brings me sorrow.  For I want them to be happy.  I don't want them to suffer.  Christ doesn't want any of us to suffer, that is why he paid the price for us.  But doubts come, our hearts fail.  We all have moments of weakness.  Because of a post a friend of mine posted about Abraham's willingness to sacrifice his son, I asked my children yesterday what they thought of that story, what they would think if we told them that God commanded us to kill them.  I made it personal for them, so they didn't just give me a programmed answer.  Suddenly it did bother them.  As it should probably bother all of us, if we were commanded to do that now, and proceeded to do that, we would probably be sent to prison.  It is a different time.  In Abraham's time, it was fairly common, perhaps not among the faithful Jews, but after all Abraham himself was almost sacrificed.  We cannot understand everything about this story because we did not live in that time, but we can learn from it still.  For me it comes down to this, if one of my children were called home, would I still trust God? Do I trust in his love enough, to be obedient to his commands, to his prophet, or when a trial comes into my life?  Do I love my friends, and family enough to be willing to do all that God commands, so that perhaps they too will partake of the Joy that is ours, if we do not lose our faith?  Is my Faith unwavering in him?  Is obedience to things I do not fully understand such a bad thing if I truly do know he is God; his prophet is led by him; and both love me?  No, this is the mark of strength, of Godly strength, of faith, of hope, of charity.  All of us can and do make bad decisions. It takes great courage and faith to choose not to.  We owe it to our children, to our friends, to our spouse, our parents, and all that we come in contact with to be willing to make that kind of sacrifice in our lives.  If we are not, we are hurting not only ourselves, but all of them.  If we do not stand firmly grounded, how can we expect them to.  Abraham was not being asked to give up his son forever, he was being asked to say good-bye to him for a time, so that Isaac and all of the following posterity could gain Eternal Life.  We are sometimes asked to sacrifice the things that matter most to us so that things that matter more can be given to us and all of those we love.  I know God lives, I know this is true.