Trust in God

What does it mean to trust in God?  What does it mean for a child to trust in a parent?  What is Faith?  For many they may have immediate, perhaps programmed responses they have grown up with since childhood.  For some, however; this has become deeply personal, there are no programmed responses, there is only a firm affirmation, a knowledge of what this means.  How do you get to this point? For a child to learn obedience to their parents, they need to know their parents love them, and truly want what is best for them, then it will be easier to trust them.  The same is true of us, with our Father in Heaven.  Growing up, I always had faith there was a God, it was easy for me to believe in things.  I held on to Santa until I was 12.  I admit belief in the unbelievable has come easy for me.  I can assure you though, that if that was all my faith was in the last several years, I would not still be standing with God.  It had to become something more.  It did. First I had to gain a testimony that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints was the restored gospel of Jesus Christ.  As a youth, I just figured you went to whatever church you felt good in and that was okay. I felt good in this church so I thought that that would please my bishop when I told him.  Instead, I saw real fear in his eyes as he told me that wasn't true.  It caused me to reflect more; and then in college I began to earnestly pray to know if all that I had been taught was true. Was the Book of Mormon another testament of Jesus Christ? Was Joseph Smith who he said he was? Was the priesthood restored? Did we really have a modern day prophet?  Answers didn't come right away, but they came, as I did not give up, as I continued to have faith that I would get answers.  I knew it all was true; there was no going back for me.  Then I had to learn that God truly loved me. Through all my weaknesses he loved me and I was good enough.  I learned this on my mission, when feelings of inadequacy were crippling me.  He whispered it to me when I was on my knees in despair.  I knew he loved me and from that moment on whenever trials came, which they have, no matter how hard they were I never doubted he loved me and would one day make it right.  Our family has suffered job loss due to false accusations, and because of that years of financial struggle that really still have not come to an end.  I personally have struggled with the ability to forgive because of this.  After a year and a half of struggling with anger, I was finally able to turn it over to my Savior and trust in his timing and that all would be made right.  Because of what happened, it has been difficult for my husband to gain the financial stability we so desire, and just when we thought we were headed forward in that, it all came back to get us again.  Once again we received calm assurance that all would be right; that this was our test, and we have been able to find joy in the journey, we have treasures beyond measure, we have been well taken care of.  I have seen the hand of God in our life, and I will not let anger, frustration or doubt take all of that away.  All around me; however, I see friends and family let go of all that matters, doubts consume them, their hearts fail, they fall away.  This brings me sorrow, not the kind that causes me to be in despair, but the kind that causes me to be sorry for them.  We will all have trials in this life, we can do it with God and have peace through those trials, or we can do it without him, alone, and be in despair.  It is our choice.  Many who have fallen away for now feel like it is the right choice, and are temporarily happy, I know this will not last, and this also brings me sorrow.  For I want them to be happy.  I don't want them to suffer.  Christ doesn't want any of us to suffer, that is why he paid the price for us.  But doubts come, our hearts fail.  We all have moments of weakness.  Because of a post a friend of mine posted about Abraham's willingness to sacrifice his son, I asked my children yesterday what they thought of that story, what they would think if we told them that God commanded us to kill them.  I made it personal for them, so they didn't just give me a programmed answer.  Suddenly it did bother them.  As it should probably bother all of us, if we were commanded to do that now, and proceeded to do that, we would probably be sent to prison.  It is a different time.  In Abraham's time, it was fairly common, perhaps not among the faithful Jews, but after all Abraham himself was almost sacrificed.  We cannot understand everything about this story because we did not live in that time, but we can learn from it still.  For me it comes down to this, if one of my children were called home, would I still trust God? Do I trust in his love enough, to be obedient to his commands, to his prophet, or when a trial comes into my life?  Do I love my friends, and family enough to be willing to do all that God commands, so that perhaps they too will partake of the Joy that is ours, if we do not lose our faith?  Is my Faith unwavering in him?  Is obedience to things I do not fully understand such a bad thing if I truly do know he is God; his prophet is led by him; and both love me?  No, this is the mark of strength, of Godly strength, of faith, of hope, of charity.  All of us can and do make bad decisions. It takes great courage and faith to choose not to.  We owe it to our children, to our friends, to our spouse, our parents, and all that we come in contact with to be willing to make that kind of sacrifice in our lives.  If we are not, we are hurting not only ourselves, but all of them.  If we do not stand firmly grounded, how can we expect them to.  Abraham was not being asked to give up his son forever, he was being asked to say good-bye to him for a time, so that Isaac and all of the following posterity could gain Eternal Life.  We are sometimes asked to sacrifice the things that matter most to us so that things that matter more can be given to us and all of those we love.  I know God lives, I know this is true.   

Truth will be found

I have been deeply troubled over the topic I will discuss today.  The veracity of the Book of Mormon.  Before I deceive anyone today, I am not troubled over the actual veracity of the Book of Mormon, for I know it is true.  I am troubled over how many people actually believe the arguments that come up against it.  For those who are reading this and are unfamiliar with the Book of Mormon, it is another testament of Jesus Christ that goes hand in hand with the Bible.  It is the testimony of the ancient inhabitants of the Americas.  How powerful to know it was not just the inhabitants of Jerusalem who testified of Christ, it was the people here too.  This is not my topic of today though.  Enemies of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints have long tried to disprove the veracity of The Book of Mormon, and how it came to be.  I will take just one modern day argument they have.  I would like to point out that standing alone none of these arguments hold, any intelligent, scientific, person can tell that the arguments are lacking and that there is most likely a reasonable explanation, so the enemies of the church put all of them together to make them appear valid.  What kind of Science is that?  I will take one today.  They have done some DNA testing of some native Americans, and it does not match up with the DNA of people from Jerusalem.  Ok, the key word here is some.  They have not tested every single person who's ancient inhabitants came from here.  They say their DNA matches more with the Asians.  I'm ok with that, why because again the key word is some.  Our own Book of Mormon talks of other inhabitants, the Mulekites, the Jaredites. Who are we to say there wasn't more, they just weren't mentioned in the Book of Mormon.  If there were more who are we to say they didn't intermingle with the descendants of The Book of Mormon.  The record in the Book of Mormon stops about 400 AD, so we have over a thousand years unaccounted for.  Not only that we have over two thousand years only accounted for by one group of people.  I don't think you have to be a scientist to see that this reason alone does not disprove the Book of Mormon.  This was one of the stronger arguments.  The point I would like to make is you will find what you are searching for, you will find where your heart is.  If you don't want to believe, you will find reasons not to.  If you do, if you have any desire at all, Moroni promised in Moroni 10:3-5 "Behold, I would exhort you that when ye shall read these things, if it be wisdom  in God that ye should read them...........and ponder them in your hearts.  And when ye shall receive these things, I would exhort you that ye would ask God, the Eternal Father, in the name of Christ, if these things are not true; and if ye shall ask with a sincere heart, with real intent, having faith in Christ, he will manifest the truth of it unto you, by the power of the Holy Ghost.  And by the power of the Holy Ghost ye may know the truth of all things." I testify that all who try this experiment will receive an answer.  I know because God has answered me.  I know it is true.  God will not answer me one way, and you another, else in one of the cases he would be a liar.  If you choose to disbelieve my testimony then you choose to believe I am either crazy, naive, unintelligent, or a believer in fairy tales.  If you truly know me, you should know none of these are true.  I write this out of love for all my family and friends who have been misled by these enemies. I need you to know, I do not consider any of you to be an enemy, nor will I ever.  For I have seen you as God sees you.  You are not my enemy.  All of you are Sons and Daughters of God, I have seen what you can become.  That may seem bold to say that, but God has given me that gift.  My prayers are always with you.

Courage

Today I feel to talk of courage.  Throughout all ages courage is a virtue always admired.  People who have truly possessed it are almost always remembered.  But what is courage.  In todays world I feel it is being distorted.  I recently read an article by Matt Walsh regarding Michael Sam that addresses this very issue.  I really couldn't have said it better myself.  In fact I enjoy reading his articles.  It is good to know there are people out there willing to stand up and be bold in spite of popular opinion.  This in and of itself to me is an example of courage.  To my kids I am often quoting to them, anyone can choose the wrong it takes courage to choose the right.  Everyday we make choices, some good, some bad, for none of us is perfect.  It is easy to choose wrong, not so easy to choose right.  The world would have us believe it is courageous to come out of the closet, to be atheist, and to point fingers at the so called religious bigots.   My question though is how is that courageous when all the world applauds them.  No, it is much more courageous to stand up for what you know is right, even though you know you could lose everything.    It is much more courageous to do that which is hard, and even go against your own nature because you know it is the right thing to do.  We all have weaknesses, to give in and say that is just who we are is not courage.  We all are guilty of this from time to time.  I believe most anyone would agree with me that a child molester should not be allowed to molest children because that is just his nature, that is just who he is.  We were created to become more than our human selves, we were created to become like God.  We do not have to do this alone, of course we will make mistakes, but to give up is not courage.  There are so many examples, of businesses, and people who have taken a stand and suffered because of it.  Yet in spite of their suffering they stay true to their values.  This is courage.  This is also integrity.  This is what will be remembered.

Loving the sinner but not the sin

I realize it has been over a year since I have written, I have not felt the urge until now.  I have been pondering on the great prophet Mormon, and his son Moroni.  For those unaware of who these two great men were, they are the last prophets of the Book of Mormon another testament of Jesus Christ.  They compiled everything together and sealed it up for our day, to be found by the boy Joseph in the year 1820.  The Book of Mormon is another testament of Jesus Christ to be used hand in hand with the Bible, but it accounts for the people here in the Americas, the ancestors of the Native Americans. Mormon in his 16th year was asked by his people, who by this time were not a righteous people, to lead them into battle.  It is amazing to me, that these people, although not righteous could still feel the strength and love of Mormon a God-fearing boy, not much older than the prophet Joseph Smith was when he saw God the Father and his Son Jesus Christ.  At age 10, he was approached by Ammaron, the prophet at the time, and told where Ammaron would hide the records that had been kept for centuries by their people, and asked Mormon to get them when he was older, and finish the record.  At age 10, he was asked this.  At age 15 he was visited of the Lord, and tasted and knew of the goodness of Jesus ( Mormon 1:15).  He was commanded not to preach anymore among his people at this young age because of the hardness of their hearts, yet he was to remain among them.  Not only did he remain among them he served them.  He took command of their armies, he prayed for them, when they sorrowed because of the blood and carnage among them he had hope that perhaps their hearts were turning and they would repent.  He never gave up hope on them.   Only when they lusted after blood, and boasted in their armies, did he refuse to lead them  (Mormon 3).  After a time though, he led them once more, when in his words "they looked upon me as though I could deliver them from their afflictions".  Mormon and his son Moroni sorrowed for their people.  No anger, lack of forgiveness, or unfair judgements were cast on them, rather they sorrowed after them.  As an example Mormon cries, "And my soul was rent with anguish, because of the slain of my people, and I cried;  O ye fair ones, how could ye have departed from the ways of the Lord!  O ye fair ones, how could ye have rejected that Jesus, who stood with open arms to receive you!  Behold, if ye had not done this, ye would not have fallen.  But behold, ye are fallen, and I mourn your loss".  His soul was rent with anguish.  Mormon and Moroni served their people until they and Mormon had all been killed.  Moroni wrote more in the records, in hopes that the Lamanites, in whom they had been fighting would someday be converted.  I write this because it is a beautiful example of loving someone, but not giving in to their sin.  They did serve and love their people, but not once did they give in to their ways.  Not once did they declare their ways to be right.  Saying all this I bring a modern example.  Truly there are many, but I choose this one because it is the one making headlines.  Homosexuality.  How do we deal with this.  Many years back, when the state I was living in first put forth the proclamation that marriage is between a man and a woman, the liberal background I was raised in caused me to protest this in my mind, but our prophet asked us to stand for it, and so I did.  Now years later I have come to understand the wisdom in it.  People cry out, we are being bigots, we are not being Christlike, we are the sinners.   They are wrong.  I will show you.  A person close to me was at the grocery store one day, and saw a woman downtrodden, and approached her.  Speaking with her it was easy to determine that she was in a same sex relationship, and she had a child.  Also speaking with her, this person determined she needed immediate help.  This friend of mine brought her into the grocery store, and bought a huge amount of groceries for her, and then gave her 100.  The person I speak of stands for the traditional marriage.  As Mormon of old refused to lead his people when they lusted after blood, but still served them and prayed for them, we must do the same.  I do not pretend to know what people with homosexual tendencies are going through.  I do not pretend to know whether they are born with it or not, but I do know all of us are born with weaknesses that either we can overcome with the help of Jesus Christ, or we can give into them, and live in misery.  I have had great weaknesses, that I could not overcome without divine help.  It took time, trust in my God, constant prayer, and his power to do it.  Yet of course I still have more to overcome and will not achieve perfection in this life.  But step by step and through the atonement of Jesus Christ I will someday make it.  It is ok to make mistakes we all do, it is not okay to let these mistakes define who we are, and give up, that will not bring us peace, or joy in the end.  We must be willing to do it his way.  I know a life of celibacy is lonely, many heterosexual people live it as well, but God, and Christ will give you peace and the strength to continue, and perhaps in this life he will change you in such a way, that celibacy will no longer be required.  I know he can, but I also know it is in his timetable.  The one thing he promises us, is Peace in this life, and Eternal Life in the world to come.  In him literally all things are possible.  Only by turning our lives completely over to him, can we truly feel of the love he has for us, and feel his divine power.  I have felt it, I know it is real.  In conclusion, I will always love all of my brothers and sisters, I will serve them as my friend did, but I will never try to redefine God's laws.  I will stand up for what is right, always.  I can be called a bigot, and many worse things I am sure, but I know in whom I trust, and I cannot waiver from that.  

I am overjoyed to be a woman

In light of recent events perhaps it is time to write again.  I am overjoyed to be a woman, it is what I was born to be.  In fact I'll go even further; I am a mother, an old fashioned stay at home mom who does most of the housework,laundry, and cooking; a wife who is held on a pedestal by her husband who does open doors for me, and who does talk respectfully in front of me, who does provide for us, his family, and who does preside faithfully over us.  I have no shame in asking him to open jars for me, or to get things that are higher than I am.  I have no shame in asking him to carry heavier loads, or to drive when we are both in the car.  I am also grateful my husband is a priesthood holder, which for those who don't know what that is, it is the power to act in God's name.  It is a responsibility, a duty, not a reward for being a man.  It can be a heavy burden to carry for those who honor it, just as the raising of children can be a heavy burden at times for those who truly love and honor their children.  Men who have the priesthood have the duty to watch over and serve those within their care.   It is not an easy task, just as the daily rearing of children is not an easy task.  I would like to illustrate it this way.  This summer my children were helping me weed in the garden.  They did not like the tasks I gave to them and wanted mine, thinking it was either easier or more important than the ones I gave them.  I explained to them that what they were doing was important and needed to be done, and in fact, if they did not I would have to also do theirs which would cause us to finish at a slower pace.  If we switched roles it would also cause us to finish at a slower pace because they did not yet have the strength to do what I was doing.  We were not all born to do the same thing and be the same thing.  Women are women, and men are men.  It is not a politically incorrect statement, it is fact.  This is not to say that women should not be equally paid in the workforce, it also does not mean women should not work, or vote, or have rights.  It means that women are women and men are men, and the sooner we realize this, the sooner we can get past all this garbage that is now the feminist movement.  We have gone way past what I think the early women were fighting for.  It now takes more courage to stand up and be a woman than it does to try to be a man.  Perhaps I am exaggerating, but I do not believe I am.  There is a divine reason we are different, neither role is more important than the other and both are vital to a happy society.  An honorable priesthood holder reveres women, he does not oppress them.  He serves them, he does not rule over them.  He has the weight and responsibility to provide spiritually and temporally for not only his family but all others who are put under is care which for some can be an entire church.  I served a mission, and when I was released from my mission it was as if a heavy weight was lifted from my shoulders.  Honorable priesthood holders never get this release.  God buoy's them up, guides them, and gives them strength to do what they were born to do.  He does the same for women in their roles which are just as vital and important.  If we are all trying to be men, than who will look after these sweet spirits that come to earth that only ask for love and nurturing.  Who will succor the weak, the poor, and the afflicted.  There is in women a natural tendency towards tenderness and nurturing.  While I do recognize that women too can be very different from each other, and for some this tendency comes easier, I believe it is there in us all.  There are differences for a reason, it helps a man and his wife become one.  Where one is weak, the other is strong,and together they can complete the journey.  I stand Tall in who I am.  I am not ashamed, nor do I undermine my task.  I sustain my husband and all honorable priesthood holders.  I pray for them, I pray for women.  I pray that I will be wise enough, and guided enough by God that I can teach my boys to be men and my girls to be women.  I know what they were born to do, and it is my divine duty to teach them that.  I fail all if I fail at this role.  This is not a politically incorrect statement this is fact.

The good in us all

Today I know I must write.  The circumstances are such that I know it is time again.  I have realized that my gift is not in speaking, and in fact I fumble often with my words when I try to explain myself.  My gift is in writing.  Many events have happened that have brought me to this realization and as such it is time to explain myself.  I am often seen defending those who to most people seem to not deserve my defense.  There is a reason for this.  God has given me a gift and as I have come closer to him that gift is magnified.  In saying this I am not saying I am free of imperfections, listen to me speak and you will know that I am full of them.  The gift he has given me is the ability to see beyond the man and into the spirit.  I can see not the man that has done an awful thing, but the man that was, that still can be through the atonement, and the man that God loves.   I can see into the heart.  I can see the pathway that led a once good man, as King David was to sin so awful that they may never recover from it.  I can see the tragedy of it, and it makes me want to cry for them, not condemn them, for the world has already done that.  I know all men must be brought to justice for their sins, it is not my job to condemn them more. I also truly mourn for those in whom these people have hurt.  I also know that God can see more than any of us can, and that many of those people who have fallen so hard, might yet make it back to the celestial kingdom, and I want to be there to welcome them in.  I want to be there to show them the great joy I have knowing that they made if after all.  I want to not feel the tragedy of their fall.  I want to not mourn for young David any longer.  I want to go home and see all of my brothers and sisters in whom I know I loved before this world and in whom followed the Savior at least once as I did.  I do not want to cry for them because they are not there, I want to rejoice because they are.  I believe that if we all could see as God does just once we would never again be quick to anger, to condemn, to justify our own actions and words, to hate.  I believe we would be in a hurry to bring all men; even those in whom we feel have wronged us most; to our Savior, to healing, to peace.  We would mourn for those who continue in misery, not anger towards them.  Instead of trying to change them, we would love them, and our actions and words would show it.  Remember Mormon, a prophet in the Book of Mormon (ancient scriptures written by prophets of the inhabitants of the Americas) and how he served a people so fallen.  These people so full of anger and hatred towards one another asked Mormon, 15 at the time, to lead them in battle to protect them, perhaps they could sense his strength and love for them.  As far as we know they never did return to that God that loved them so much, but Mormon loved them anyways, and as a result did not lose his soul.  Remember the Savior, that did not condemn the woman taken in adultery.  We all know that story, but do we know the significance of it.  We are not capable as mankind to see into the hearts of men.  God only can give us that ability, and when he has we know it has come from God because of the Love that we are filled with.  The ability to love even those in whom we deem unlovable.  The ability to feel sorrow for the Ebenezer Scrooges of our time, for the abuser and the abused (who often times are both), for the drunkard, and for the murderer (remember the Lamanites, a people in the Book of Mormon, were murderous people before they were converted).  In saying all this I am not saying that these people do not need to be brought to justice, for we know that they must.  I am not saying that you need to trust these people, I am only saying that we are not God and cannot write them off, and say they are not worthy of our love and understanding.  Do we know the pathway that led them to that point.  Do we remember the day that they and us chose to follow God.  All people were good once.  David slew Goliath in great faith for the protection of his people, and later in life sent a man to his death because of lust.  All of us could fall like that, not one of us is immune.  All of us need God and the Savior to get us back, not just because of the mistakes we make, but because of the mistakes we will yet make, and the inability to change on our own.  All of us have regrets, insecurities, and a desire to be understood, loved and accepted.  All of us will fall, and require the atonement to get back up.  Never make the mistake of thinking that your sins are lesser sins, for these so called lesser sins are what lead to greater sins.  One of my favorite parts in the Book of Mormon is when the people for almost 4 generations live in peace and love towards one another and had everything common among them.  This can be us, but the change has to come from within ourselves and through the divine power of God.  It tells us in the scriptures to pray for this love.  It is a gift that God is waiting to give us.  It will only bring us to more peace and joy and closer to the veil, and closer to the face of God.

Knowing truth

I've got the strong feeling I get when I know I need to post something.  The only difference this time is I'm not sure what I'm supposed to write about yet.  My feelings are leading me to our country.  I just got done reading Left to Tell by Immaculee Illibagiza.  It was the amazing story of not only how she survived the Rwandan holocaust, but how she came to know God personally through it and as a result forgive and love inspite of everything she had been through.  For those who are unfamiliar with what happened in Rwanda in 1994, hate between two tribes was intensified by propaganda and as a result one tribe made it their goal to completely eliminate another.  This brings me to propaganda, to the media, to what is happening to our country.  People are weak, we all are.  The only way we become strong is when we lean to God for support, guidance, courage, and love.  As a result of this our weakness we will believe anything we are told sometimes, whatever it may be.  This woman's family was all killed with the exception of herself and her older brother who was studying in another country at the time.  Why?  Neighbors and friends they had had for years turned on them because propaganda told them that this good family, who dedicated their lives to God and to serving others, was preparing to wage a war against them.  We have a choice today, will we let this happen in our country.  Many may say oh this will never happen in our country, but these are the words repeated by great nations everywhere right before they fall.  Will we let media, control our emotions, and make our choices, or will we let God guide us the way we should go.  Will we become apathetic and believe we can do nothing, or will we take a stance whenever and wherever we can.  What you may ask do we need to take a stance on.  Our rights, our God-given rights, freedom of religion, speech, work, health, arms, the list goes on.  The things that are happening in our country are very subtle, and perhaps will take time before the damage can really be seen.  But it is coming.  Most importantly we cannot see each other as enemies, we must work together to protect these rights.  We all have the ability to receive direct inspiration from God about the choices we should make.  We all have the ability to remove ourselves from the hate that is being created across the world, and be filled with the love that Immaculee talks about.  God will fill us with this love, and he will guide us in our lives, and he will protect us from the weakness of our minds if we only but turn to him and knock.